Michael Isaac

Michael Isaac was the boy from my dream last night. At some point he was kidnapped on a hijacked train that me and, I think, my family chased down (literally on foot). We chased the train through this amazingly open, hilly, green place until it fled into this valley where Michael was from. I swear, it was straight out of a Miyazaki. Everyone else took care of the hijackers while I returned Michael to his home. Somehow, I didn't get a look at him. I stood in the dining room outside his bedroom door with my ear pressed to his door and my eyes closed. He was playing the cello. God, it was beautiful. His grandmother was sitting at the table next to me and knew, with that conspiring smile grandmas get, that I had a HUGE crush on him. She told his mother to set another place at the table for me. ^_^ Finally he came out of his room for dinner. He was tall, maybe about the same as Matthew, with strawberry blonde, brownish, curly hair. He was so cute! The rest of the dream is blurry and really messed up. That part of the dream ended and at some point I had sex with Mike. I don't know.

I talked to Becky today. It was mostly about her story; it seems like everything has changed. I really needed an elvin fix, though. I'm gonna call her tomorrow and we can talk about real life stuff. I've really missed her. I will really miss her.

Drowning in Tears

I just went through all the scans I have of Becky's old art and the voice recorder notes. I couldn't stop shaking and crying. It reminded me of Liv. One day, she asked me if the pain ever goes away. I told her the truth: it never goes away. Never.