Odd Feelings

They're really odd feelings: knowing a murderer and someone who would not think twice about killing someone who he thought deserved it. I'm talking about Alex and Taesoo. It's even stranger to think that I am trying to get closer to these people. I want to be their friend. In a way it kinda reminds me of Lily's actions toward Kael. She spent all of that time trying to get him to trust her, to accept her as a friend and then something more. And she did all of this knowing that he had killed hundreds of people with his own hands and weapons. I never thought I would be in such a position... it's so very strange. I'm scared of what they are able to do, but I want them to like me, take notice of me. Shouldn't I be doing everything to stay out of their notice? I feel like it'd be playing my own horn, or something of the like, to say that it feels like I'm following Jesus' example. I know that's what I should be doing anyway, so why does it feel weird to say that I'm doing it and proving it with my actions? Weird. This whole thing is just weird.