Breathless

I... um... Oh...

Dammit, Julian! Stop looking at me like that! *cries*

I can't get that image out of my head, that conversation after Alex got on the bus. When I couldn't form words besides "I'm sorry," and when I finally could, they were jumbled and stuttered. That conversation that had us both in tears and me hyperventilating later that night, over and over again. It is against my nature to be this selfish. It is against who I am to hurt a friend like this.

I can't do anything that doesn't hurt others.