Twix

It's an interesting feeling of loss, discovering that you truly desire something and then find out it will never happen for you. It's the feeling I have now about marriage and having children. None for me. I've decided to put it out of my mind as much as possible, considering hope is evil and I should never allow the feeling to occur. Alex will just have to put up with my crying spurts about it over the coming years.

In other news. Lies fall from your lips like sand through an hourglass. That doesn't pertain to anyone. I just thought of the line a little bit ago and wanted to write it down.

I feel like work has really restricted the activities. I'm sure it hasn't as much as it feels like it has, but there isn't much I can do about that feeling. I'll just have to deal with it.

I can't wait for the day Alex and I live together.

Battered

I hate when simple things turn out to be difficult, time consuming, and very frustrating. You go in with an attitude of "Oh, this should only take 10min, max," and then nearly an hour later you're trying not to cry from frustration and texting your ex boyfriend because he is the only person you know who would know what the hell you're doing wrong. And then remembering how much you hate texting with him because he drags on forever. *sigh*

Work is going well. They've been giving me plenty of hours, so my paycheck should be nice when I get it on Thursday. I'm not really fond of standing for so long and my left elbow kinda hurts every now and then, but oh well. Money is money, and it's nice to see my account being replenished after draining what I did when I was at school.

Loathsome

There are few things I hate with the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns. One of them is pretend ass cello music. This is music that is written or transcribed by violin players. You can tell because you never use the entire bottom half of the cello. 7/8 of the music is played on the A string in ridiculous positions while that 1/8 is just touching the D sting. What about the G and C strings? They apparently don't exist to many players, which is very unfortunate for me and the cello because those are my favorite stings and THE CELLO WAS MADE TO PLAY LOWER NOTES. It is there to add a rich bottom to music which is almost never utilized in solo cello music. Instead, people are determined to show off how close cellos are to their violin counterparts by playing the highest notes possible. When music is transcribed for cello, the transcribers seem to forget the cello has a range below the cello's middle D. ARGH! The bottom two strings are what sets the cello apart and they are so rarely used! They have the richest, most beautiful tone and yet they are ignored for pinched, violin-like wannabes.

Despicable. Detestable. Disgusting.

This rant occurs now because I have begun practicing for Holly's wedding, and picking out the music has been difficult because of my lower skill level and the atrocities of the solo music as written above. Hopefully I have found a sufficient amount of music that I will be able to play well enough for the wedding. *sigh* We'll see.