Early Risin'

It's 2:25 in the morning and I'm pretty much ready to go. The case is this: we are headed to the beach and I get to drive first, which means I get to start driving at 3am. I've only had less than four hours of sleep, but I feel pretty good. Everyone else is still asleep, although I suspect Mom will be getting up shortly. Because now is during that precarious time of night when the water softener is running, I can't do more than quickly wash my face for fear of staining the toilets just in time for us to leave. I'm sure this will happen anyway when everyone else wakes up.

I hope this trip will be a good one. It is Isaac and Nobu's first trip to Ocean Lakes with us and also the first time we've gotten our own place instead of sharing with Matthew and Stephanie. Hopefully this will minimize Dad's moodiness, or at least minimize our contact with it. Overall I am hopeful.

I will miss my Alex, as I always will, but I'll call him at least every day. I miss our long phone conversations, but I don't think we'll get to have any this week. But we'll see.

It is now time for me to get dressed and make some breakfast for the journey!

4th

Today, well, technically yesterday now, is Independence day. I had a very American lunch with Mom and then went to work from 3-11:30. It isn't until you're kept from doing something you do every year but never really cared about that you realize how much you need that thing. Today, for example, we would usually have the American style lunch and dinner and set off a few small fireworks in the backyard. I was stuck in Walmart this year for all of that. We could hear the fireworks going off while we were working inside and it was depressing. It felt like the year Mike went to a friend's New Year's party instead of giving me my first New Year's kiss. I know that it is silly to be down about missing fireworks with my family one year, but I can't help the feeling. Hopefully next year I'll get to be here for that.

On the subject of work, damn was it slow today! So slow, in fact, that I spent almost the entire second half of my shift learning self check out and in soft lines fixing clothes. 11:30 could not come soon enough.

Twix

It's an interesting feeling of loss, discovering that you truly desire something and then find out it will never happen for you. It's the feeling I have now about marriage and having children. None for me. I've decided to put it out of my mind as much as possible, considering hope is evil and I should never allow the feeling to occur. Alex will just have to put up with my crying spurts about it over the coming years.

In other news. Lies fall from your lips like sand through an hourglass. That doesn't pertain to anyone. I just thought of the line a little bit ago and wanted to write it down.

I feel like work has really restricted the activities. I'm sure it hasn't as much as it feels like it has, but there isn't much I can do about that feeling. I'll just have to deal with it.

I can't wait for the day Alex and I live together.

Battered

I hate when simple things turn out to be difficult, time consuming, and very frustrating. You go in with an attitude of "Oh, this should only take 10min, max," and then nearly an hour later you're trying not to cry from frustration and texting your ex boyfriend because he is the only person you know who would know what the hell you're doing wrong. And then remembering how much you hate texting with him because he drags on forever. *sigh*

Work is going well. They've been giving me plenty of hours, so my paycheck should be nice when I get it on Thursday. I'm not really fond of standing for so long and my left elbow kinda hurts every now and then, but oh well. Money is money, and it's nice to see my account being replenished after draining what I did when I was at school.

Loathsome

There are few things I hate with the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns. One of them is pretend ass cello music. This is music that is written or transcribed by violin players. You can tell because you never use the entire bottom half of the cello. 7/8 of the music is played on the A string in ridiculous positions while that 1/8 is just touching the D sting. What about the G and C strings? They apparently don't exist to many players, which is very unfortunate for me and the cello because those are my favorite stings and THE CELLO WAS MADE TO PLAY LOWER NOTES. It is there to add a rich bottom to music which is almost never utilized in solo cello music. Instead, people are determined to show off how close cellos are to their violin counterparts by playing the highest notes possible. When music is transcribed for cello, the transcribers seem to forget the cello has a range below the cello's middle D. ARGH! The bottom two strings are what sets the cello apart and they are so rarely used! They have the richest, most beautiful tone and yet they are ignored for pinched, violin-like wannabes.

Despicable. Detestable. Disgusting.

This rant occurs now because I have begun practicing for Holly's wedding, and picking out the music has been difficult because of my lower skill level and the atrocities of the solo music as written above. Hopefully I have found a sufficient amount of music that I will be able to play well enough for the wedding. *sigh* We'll see.

Jobtastic

I suppose I am officially hired at Wal-Mart now.  I went in for the interview on Wednesday, went back on Thursday to sign paperwork and do the drug screening, and I go in for orientation on Tuesday.  They are gonna start me off at $8.90, which is pretty cool considering minimum wage is $7.25.  They must have liked me.  I wasn't expect three people to interview me at once on Wednesday, but oh well.  I got the job, so what does it matter?  Now Dad can stop bitching at me.  Although, I just know he's gonna start it up again next summer to find a real job.  I wish someone would come up to me at my graduation and hire me on the spot.

Brittany is off to Ireland next week, so we're gonna hang out on Sunday after church.  Even though she's going there to take a class, I'm still kinda jealous.  I've always been on the fence about wanting to travel, but I think if I had the chance and the resources, I'd do it.  Maybe when Alex's books sell, we can visit some fun places. 

It seems like I've been out of school for a while now, but I know it hasn't been that long.  Next semester is still a long way off.  I have to keep reminding myself that summer has only just begun.

Books and Jobs

This will be a summer of reading and working. At least, that's what I hope. I already have lots of stuff to read: Alex's stories, Dresden Files, Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, etc.

The job part is the problem, though. I have the babysitting gig again, at least, but that won't start until mid-June. I'd like to be making money now, please and thank you. Elissa got me to apply to Wal-Mart even though she hates her job and will probably quit soon. That one looks the most promising considering I got to talk to one of the managers and she seemed to like Elissa and Ray enough when I mentioned them. Because Elissa was talking about quiting the electronics department, that's what I said I was looking for, but I'm open to anything. They're apparently looking for cashiers, and I would much rather cashier than work in electronics. So there's that. I just hope they call me... I've applied to some other places too, the flower/produce place by Hammer's, Fashion Bug, Subway down my Mom, and the snack bar at Ice Connection. I really hope I have better luck this time around.

Alex told me about his friend Andrea and the job she has at a company that he does not remember the name of. She got it through an internship and it sounds like a completely awesome job. Once Alex finds out the name of it, I'm gonna look it up. They work with kids and Andrea works with commercials and advertising on a station that sounds similar to PBSkids. Doing what she is doing would be so cool and so perfect. And since it's in Robinson, it wouldn't be too horribly far away. Here's to hoping... ugh. There I go again.