I know I should be working on my essay for Rhetoric right now, but I can't help it. I'm weird.
Why is it I'm attracted to strange when all I want is normal? It's really frustrating. All of the guys I've liked since Jared have been on the weird side. Josh, Keer, hell even Min. He painted his nails, who knows what else he did. Is it because I've had an abundance of really weird that I only want normal? Grant, Josh, Albert, David. I don't know. It's like I'm a nutzo magnet. Not all the time, but it still feels like that. Sadistic, suicidal, drug addicts. Mike is the only normal one of the bunch. But I'm not satisfied. And I don't even know how I feel about him. -_- Ugh. This again.
I went to dinner on Tuesday with Becky, Rob (yay!), Alina, and Emily. Alina has a new crush and she was saying how she didn't like to be apart from him. It hurt her emotionally. She didn't want to be away from him. ... I don't feel that for Mike. Should I? Is that something I should be feeling for my boyfriend? Because I don't, does that mean he isn't right for me? AGH. I just don't know! I want to talk to someone about it, but I don't know who. Liv is probably already convinced that I shouldn't be with Mike because of that talk I had with her before. I don't know if I can trust Chelsea with it because Mike and Chels have gotten REALLY close. And I feel like there isn't anyone else who knows the situation well enough to help me. Alina would just tell me to break up with him... so would Becky. Who else is there? Mom? No. Brittany, Kayla, Misha... Maybe Brittany. She'd probably be best. Or Kayla maybe... Misha and Mike are too close at the moment. God, I don't know!
*fail*
Monday, December 1, 2008
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Cool People = Fun Weekend
This weekend was probably the best I've had at college so far. Halloween night, Genevra's birthday, I went to a small party in the WPU with Genevra. I got to re-meet Juilian, and I got to meet Harold, Genevra's prospective boyfriend. Oh course there were other people there and they were all fun. I won a frozen apple pie for gathering the most lollipops out of balloons, but because I don't have a freezer or an oven, I gave it to the runnerup, Alexa. She is a very fun and sweet person. Later in the party, Malory showed up with Jonathan and his girlfriend Kelly. I was friendly, of course, but it caused internal drama-llama for Genevra. Afterwards, my crew + Malory and Julian were supposed to go get something to eat, but they others wound up walking Jonathan and whoever else to a bus stop far away and decided to get food down there instead of coming back to eat with us.
So after the party, Genevra, Harold, and I went to Fuel and Fuddle for half-off and we got better aquainted with each other. Harold is a really cool person and I hope we can become better friends. He's having problems with his ex: she wants him back and he isn't sure of his feelings. Apparently she is in Hawai'i (?) and she bought him a plane ticket without telling him so he would go visit her. Genevra definitely likes him, but she won't do anything until he figures all of that mess out. She is definitely trying to get closer to him, though. Anyway, after we went out to eat we went back to Harold's apartment... I don't really recall why... Oh! I think it was because she had left fabric and stuff there (she had helped make part of his ninja-pirate costume). We wound up giving massages to each other--apparently my back is ALL knots, not surprisingly--and talking late into the night. Genevra fell asleep somewhere around 2am-ish and Harold and I talked until about 4am. Then we all fell asleep and didn't get up until 11:30. Besides sleeping on the floor--which wasn't all that bad--it was a great time.
When we got up this morning we went to Eat N Park for food and started moving Genevra into her new apartment in the South Side. It only took us two trips because of my awesome packing job. x3 The futon was a LARGE problem, though. After much effort, we managed to stuff it into the back seat, but realized Harold wouldn't be able to see out of his rear windshield, so we had to fit it into the trunk. It didn't quite fit, but after pushing and stomping and prodding, we got in mostly in there. The trunk wouldn't close, though, so they bungied it and off we went.
By the time we got everything done, it was already 6:30. Harold had stuff to do, so they dropped me off and I've watched anime until now. I definitely need to shower before church tomorrow. I didn't expect to sleep over anywhere, so I didn't bring any deoderant and I couldn't find Harold's in the bathroom, so I wound up spraying the armpits of my shirt with Febreeze type stuff. XD I can't tell if I smell good or just odd. We'll go with odd. o_O
Anyway, I need sleep. Just because I got a decent amount of hours doesn't mean I slept well. おやすみ。
So after the party, Genevra, Harold, and I went to Fuel and Fuddle for half-off and we got better aquainted with each other. Harold is a really cool person and I hope we can become better friends. He's having problems with his ex: she wants him back and he isn't sure of his feelings. Apparently she is in Hawai'i (?) and she bought him a plane ticket without telling him so he would go visit her. Genevra definitely likes him, but she won't do anything until he figures all of that mess out. She is definitely trying to get closer to him, though. Anyway, after we went out to eat we went back to Harold's apartment... I don't really recall why... Oh! I think it was because she had left fabric and stuff there (she had helped make part of his ninja-pirate costume). We wound up giving massages to each other--apparently my back is ALL knots, not surprisingly--and talking late into the night. Genevra fell asleep somewhere around 2am-ish and Harold and I talked until about 4am. Then we all fell asleep and didn't get up until 11:30. Besides sleeping on the floor--which wasn't all that bad--it was a great time.
When we got up this morning we went to Eat N Park for food and started moving Genevra into her new apartment in the South Side. It only took us two trips because of my awesome packing job. x3 The futon was a LARGE problem, though. After much effort, we managed to stuff it into the back seat, but realized Harold wouldn't be able to see out of his rear windshield, so we had to fit it into the trunk. It didn't quite fit, but after pushing and stomping and prodding, we got in mostly in there. The trunk wouldn't close, though, so they bungied it and off we went.
By the time we got everything done, it was already 6:30. Harold had stuff to do, so they dropped me off and I've watched anime until now. I definitely need to shower before church tomorrow. I didn't expect to sleep over anywhere, so I didn't bring any deoderant and I couldn't find Harold's in the bathroom, so I wound up spraying the armpits of my shirt with Febreeze type stuff. XD I can't tell if I smell good or just odd. We'll go with odd. o_O
Anyway, I need sleep. Just because I got a decent amount of hours doesn't mean I slept well. おやすみ。
Thursday, October 30, 2008
まったく。。。
I'm not sure why, but まったく (geeze...) seems to sum up my thoughts right now, like it's the recurring theme.
I finally turned in that damn metafiction paper on Tuesday. We got it back today: B-. Fail, right? I worked so hard on it. -_- She said that we can revise it again and turn it in my the end of the semester and she will take the better grade. But I never want to see that paper again! ... But I want an A... ;_;
Right now, though, I have to worry about a Rhetoric test on Tuesday and the euthanasia debate on Thursday. Tomorrow is Genevra's birthday, but I probably won't get to spend much time with her 'cause I need to research for the debate and meet up with Ethan at 4:30. I haven't gotten to spend much time with Genevra recently--it's made me lonely again. >< Pathetic. I hope she likes her presents. I'm sure she will, I'm just worried about the bracelet. It fell apart tonight when I went to put it on. Thank God I had the extra supplies. Hopefully it will be okay now.
眠りがいりますよ！
I need sleep!
I finally turned in that damn metafiction paper on Tuesday. We got it back today: B-. Fail, right? I worked so hard on it. -_- She said that we can revise it again and turn it in my the end of the semester and she will take the better grade. But I never want to see that paper again! ... But I want an A... ;_;
Right now, though, I have to worry about a Rhetoric test on Tuesday and the euthanasia debate on Thursday. Tomorrow is Genevra's birthday, but I probably won't get to spend much time with her 'cause I need to research for the debate and meet up with Ethan at 4:30. I haven't gotten to spend much time with Genevra recently--it's made me lonely again. >< Pathetic. I hope she likes her presents. I'm sure she will, I'm just worried about the bracelet. It fell apart tonight when I went to put it on. Thank God I had the extra supplies. Hopefully it will be okay now.
眠りがいりますよ！
I need sleep!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Writing Slave
Wednesdays are always so full of writing. I'm "revising" my metafiction paper for O'Brien's The Things They Carried. Or rather, rewriting it. Or trying. I'm in the lounge in Holland, but there are these three girls across the room that are studying for a test in about an hour and a half in what sounds like anatomy. I don't mind it as much now beause they are acutally studying, but before the third one got here, they were just babbling about random stuff. DX
No one's ever had a problem with my English writing until now. I know Prof. Schwartz doesn't mean to be mean, but she just tears my papers to shreds. I'll be so glad when the semester's over.
I also have to write an Argument paper today. >p This is way too much writing.
~~~
Why am I so attentive when it comes to words? I'm horrible at using them myself, but when they are said or written out in front of me, I'm very particular about the words used and what they mean. For example, the assignment on metafiction: the paper is saying to "Show particular examples (using specific quotes from the text) of O'Brien's use of metafiction and explain how that technique qualifies it (or doesn't?) as metafiction." So I've been focusing on proving that it's metafiction 'cause that's what it says. But I just got off the phone with Prof. Schwartz and she was saying that I'm supposed to focus on how and why it's being used. Maybe I'll talk to her about that tomorrow... if she has a minute or two after class. How I'm not understanding/misinterpreting what she is looking for and that's why I don't get it.
I answer questions based on wording. I'm a weirdo. (-_- )( -_-)
No one's ever had a problem with my English writing until now. I know Prof. Schwartz doesn't mean to be mean, but she just tears my papers to shreds. I'll be so glad when the semester's over.
I also have to write an Argument paper today. >p This is way too much writing.
~~~
Why am I so attentive when it comes to words? I'm horrible at using them myself, but when they are said or written out in front of me, I'm very particular about the words used and what they mean. For example, the assignment on metafiction: the paper is saying to "Show particular examples (using specific quotes from the text) of O'Brien's use of metafiction and explain how that technique qualifies it (or doesn't?) as metafiction." So I've been focusing on proving that it's metafiction 'cause that's what it says. But I just got off the phone with Prof. Schwartz and she was saying that I'm supposed to focus on how and why it's being used. Maybe I'll talk to her about that tomorrow... if she has a minute or two after class. How I'm not understanding/misinterpreting what she is looking for and that's why I don't get it.
I answer questions based on wording. I'm a weirdo. (-_- )( -_-)
Friday, October 10, 2008
=_=
Here's a repetitive entry: I'm lonely!! And it's only Friday!
Genevra is on her way to North Carolina with her friend Malory to meet someone Mal met online. It's a good thing that Malory isn't going alone, but now I don't have anything to do this weekend except for homework. I want to meet up with Keer at some point, but he hasn't gotten back to me on when would be best. It's a three day weekend (Yay Fall break), so I can pretty much hang whenever.
So bored... I guess I'll start reading those articles for Rhetorical Process...
Genevra is on her way to North Carolina with her friend Malory to meet someone Mal met online. It's a good thing that Malory isn't going alone, but now I don't have anything to do this weekend except for homework. I want to meet up with Keer at some point, but he hasn't gotten back to me on when would be best. It's a three day weekend (Yay Fall break), so I can pretty much hang whenever.
So bored... I guess I'll start reading those articles for Rhetorical Process...
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Boss Monty and Black Dona
I have a laptop! *cheers* Dude, it's a Dell. XD This thing rocks! Although the wireless is schizo.
In other news, I stayed at Mike's last night until about 1:30am and then came home and went to bed. Andrea calls me at 7:30am asking if I can come in a work, 'cause Ian's sick/partied too hard after the football game last night. -_- I go in, of course. I got to hang out with Melissa most of the time, 'cause she didn't have much to do, and we always seemed to be in the same place. It was nice. Except for the fact that I have little endurance left for the horse barn, so it took forever to do, and it was raining. I didn't get out until 2 (and then stayed with Melissa until 2:30) Boo. But I got $50. w00t.
It's Saturday night and I need to write 3 papers (approx. 2 pgs. each) and do lots of other homework. I should have been working on that, but I was putting everything on my laptop instead. And tomorrow is LifeTeen, so I won't have much time to work on them. At least I don't have to work in the morning again.
In other news, I stayed at Mike's last night until about 1:30am and then came home and went to bed. Andrea calls me at 7:30am asking if I can come in a work, 'cause Ian's sick/partied too hard after the football game last night. -_- I go in, of course. I got to hang out with Melissa most of the time, 'cause she didn't have much to do, and we always seemed to be in the same place. It was nice. Except for the fact that I have little endurance left for the horse barn, so it took forever to do, and it was raining. I didn't get out until 2 (and then stayed with Melissa until 2:30) Boo. But I got $50. w00t.
It's Saturday night and I need to write 3 papers (approx. 2 pgs. each) and do lots of other homework. I should have been working on that, but I was putting everything on my laptop instead. And tomorrow is LifeTeen, so I won't have much time to work on them. At least I don't have to work in the morning again.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Needs and Wants
That last entry... yeah... I guess I don't want to talk about it. I wouldn't even know what to say. Mike was there for me. That's all I needed.
So I'm into my third week of sophomore year and my first year in Japanese. Lightly speaking, it's intense. This semester is already shaping up so much better than last. I've actually made friends this time around. Well, Rika became my friend last semester, so I shouldn't downplay it that much. I've met Deanna, a girl who is also taking Japanese and met Liv, Kaityn, and Jessica Kimbell at Tekko. I don't see her all that often because our class got split up, but I still hang out with her every now and then. Same with Rika. But mostly I hang out with Genevra, Jon Rennie's old girlfriend. I met her at Tekko last semester, and she happens to be in my Japanese recitation. We usually hang out 3-5 times a week, which is really nice. She's a very interesting person. Bi-curious, as she calls it, magical (apparently has mythical creature bloodlines), and really, very lovely. I'm happy to have her as a friend.
I hung out with Genevra after Japanese lecture today and we had Chinese in Schenley Plaza. There was this wonder artist playing her piano. It was so beautiful, I bought one of her CDs. Her name is Joy Ike and she's an extremely talented musician/singer who majored in Communications. lol.
Liv came by a couple weekends ago. She's getting tutored by Sensei every few weekends or so, so she stayed over. She did the thing she's always wanted to do with me: she got me to talk. It didn't really make me feel any different about the things I talked about, but she gave me some much needed insight. Like how she and Chelsea both need me. The Chelsea part surprised me, but Liv said it's because I rescued her from her house so often. I didn't even think about that. The other thing that she made me realize was my infatuation with Min. It's not a "I want him" type thing, but almost a "I used to know him and am drawn to him" thing. I really don't know how to describe it, but it's there.
I finially looked up the catholic's view on reincarnation. Reincarnation is a purely human concept that falls under the same categories as astrology and palm reading. It can be easily summed up (for me anyway) with "It is appointed that human beings die once, and after this the judgment" (Heb. 9:27). Makes sense to me if I really think about it. The human soul is something precious; it wouldn't get reused and recycled.
So I'm into my third week of sophomore year and my first year in Japanese. Lightly speaking, it's intense. This semester is already shaping up so much better than last. I've actually made friends this time around. Well, Rika became my friend last semester, so I shouldn't downplay it that much. I've met Deanna, a girl who is also taking Japanese and met Liv, Kaityn, and Jessica Kimbell at Tekko. I don't see her all that often because our class got split up, but I still hang out with her every now and then. Same with Rika. But mostly I hang out with Genevra, Jon Rennie's old girlfriend. I met her at Tekko last semester, and she happens to be in my Japanese recitation. We usually hang out 3-5 times a week, which is really nice. She's a very interesting person. Bi-curious, as she calls it, magical (apparently has mythical creature bloodlines), and really, very lovely. I'm happy to have her as a friend.
I hung out with Genevra after Japanese lecture today and we had Chinese in Schenley Plaza. There was this wonder artist playing her piano. It was so beautiful, I bought one of her CDs. Her name is Joy Ike and she's an extremely talented musician/singer who majored in Communications. lol.
Liv came by a couple weekends ago. She's getting tutored by Sensei every few weekends or so, so she stayed over. She did the thing she's always wanted to do with me: she got me to talk. It didn't really make me feel any different about the things I talked about, but she gave me some much needed insight. Like how she and Chelsea both need me. The Chelsea part surprised me, but Liv said it's because I rescued her from her house so often. I didn't even think about that. The other thing that she made me realize was my infatuation with Min. It's not a "I want him" type thing, but almost a "I used to know him and am drawn to him" thing. I really don't know how to describe it, but it's there.
I finially looked up the catholic's view on reincarnation. Reincarnation is a purely human concept that falls under the same categories as astrology and palm reading. It can be easily summed up (for me anyway) with "It is appointed that human beings die once, and after this the judgment" (Heb. 9:27). Makes sense to me if I really think about it. The human soul is something precious; it wouldn't get reused and recycled.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Abuse
Dad came close to physically harming me today. I was just going to add to the conversation he and Mom were having and he sushed me before I got three words out. I swear, he went from not angry to ready to throttle me in less than 60 seconds. The only thing that could be construed as being wrong on my part was "interrupting," but neither of them were talking at the moment, so it wasn't that bad. And I wasn't going to say anything off topic. At some point I asked if I wasn't allowed to defend Mom and he said I wasn't, so I said something along the lines of "Well then I'll never defend you again." I know that was probably going too far, but to say that I wasn't allowed to defend Mom? That's not fair. After he got mad, he grabbed my neck. I don't know what he was going to do, but Mom shoved him away before anything happened. Apparently Mike and Isaac were about to do the same thing. Mike and I immediately walked to the lake.
*sigh* More on this later. I'm going to bed.
*sigh* More on this later. I'm going to bed.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Nahniah
Still thinking about Keer. Mike and I were going to see Narnia: Prince Caspian tonight and then found out it was Mono's b-day party and only Alina was able to go, so we met them at North Park Clubhouse. We mostly sat around and talked. At one point my most recent pic of Kael and Lily (The Approach) was brought up and Alina said Becky had thought Kael looked a little like Keer. I don't really see it, but if those two do--Alina had agreed with Becky--it makes me wonder if my subconscious is really thinking about him that much. I might get to see him again tomorrow because Alina and Mono want to do a sewing party. We'll see.
Prince Caspian was good, by the way. Not to mention pretty cute. ^_^ At one point I thought for sure the general was Tim Curry, but it wasn't. The credits had some pretty fun names: Cheeseman and Whynaught for example. And I found Guy, of course.
I just got the strangest urge to read Harry Potter... o_O
Prince Caspian was good, by the way. Not to mention pretty cute. ^_^ At one point I thought for sure the general was Tim Curry, but it wasn't. The credits had some pretty fun names: Cheeseman and Whynaught for example. And I found Guy, of course.
I just got the strangest urge to read Harry Potter... o_O
Saturday, May 17, 2008
More Thoughts on Keer
I've been meaning to write this journal for a while now. We just got faster internet and there were some problems, so I didn't have internet for a little while.
Every time I'm around Keer, I wish I were single. It could just be that I don't want to have to worry about what Mike would think of my actions or keep my own actions in check because I'm in a relationship. But I keep finding myself wondering what it would be like to kiss Keer. It's a strange feeling 'cause I've never had it before. Sure I've imagined kissing others before, but never when I was with Mike, and I never wondered what it would be like for real. Or let me put it this way: I've never had the urge to do it before now. It makes me wonder what my real feelings are for Keer. I only see him as a friend, so why do I wonder? I guess it could just be induced by the fact that we are often close physically. And his light touches and kneading and biting certainly don't help because I like them so much. I feel like I can be so open with him, whereas with Mike I'm constantly watching myself and making sure I don't say or do anything wrong. But then again, I do watch myself when I'm with Keer, but on different stuff. I only watch myself because I don't want to disappoint him or lower his opinion of me.
And I sleep so much better when I am with Keer as opposed to with Mike. I know this probably doesn't mean much of anything, but it seems to matter to me. Yeah I like sleeping with Mike, but I fit so much better with Keer, and I don't really mean physically, although I think that's true. I mean we sleep the same way, or we think the same... I don't know. It's just more comfortable. The only time I've woken up when I was with Keer was when I was cold. I wake up constantly when I'm with Mike.
It really bothers me that Becky was so quick to accept that Mike and I were having problems and that I might break up with him. I only talked to her about it once and the next time we talked she wondered if I was with Keer. She didn't even ask if Mike and I were still together. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but it does. She said she always thought Keer and I would be a good couple.
Mom made the connection of why I like Keer so much. She says it's because he's practically the male version of my Becky. In a way, she hit the nail on the head. He is very much like her; I can't deny it. But at the same time, he's so different. He's more mature than she ever was. He wants to live his life to the fullest and take every opportunity that knocks on his door. He's better than Becky.
Agh. I don't know. I just needed to get these thoughts written down.
In other news, Wood 'N Things did not hire me, my room is still coming along, and I helped with the art installation in Pittsburgh yesterday and today. Check out the waterfall!
This is on the climbing wall in the REI building in SouthSide Works. Yay for recycled water bottles and a little cellophane. It will be up for a week and then we are moving it to another rock wall in Pittsburgh 'cause the lady liked the idea and wanted it on her climbing wall also. She's giving out free climbing passes for you and a friend if you help, so I'm not complaining.
Sleepy time!
Every time I'm around Keer, I wish I were single. It could just be that I don't want to have to worry about what Mike would think of my actions or keep my own actions in check because I'm in a relationship. But I keep finding myself wondering what it would be like to kiss Keer. It's a strange feeling 'cause I've never had it before. Sure I've imagined kissing others before, but never when I was with Mike, and I never wondered what it would be like for real. Or let me put it this way: I've never had the urge to do it before now. It makes me wonder what my real feelings are for Keer. I only see him as a friend, so why do I wonder? I guess it could just be induced by the fact that we are often close physically. And his light touches and kneading and biting certainly don't help because I like them so much. I feel like I can be so open with him, whereas with Mike I'm constantly watching myself and making sure I don't say or do anything wrong. But then again, I do watch myself when I'm with Keer, but on different stuff. I only watch myself because I don't want to disappoint him or lower his opinion of me.
And I sleep so much better when I am with Keer as opposed to with Mike. I know this probably doesn't mean much of anything, but it seems to matter to me. Yeah I like sleeping with Mike, but I fit so much better with Keer, and I don't really mean physically, although I think that's true. I mean we sleep the same way, or we think the same... I don't know. It's just more comfortable. The only time I've woken up when I was with Keer was when I was cold. I wake up constantly when I'm with Mike.
It really bothers me that Becky was so quick to accept that Mike and I were having problems and that I might break up with him. I only talked to her about it once and the next time we talked she wondered if I was with Keer. She didn't even ask if Mike and I were still together. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but it does. She said she always thought Keer and I would be a good couple.
Mom made the connection of why I like Keer so much. She says it's because he's practically the male version of my Becky. In a way, she hit the nail on the head. He is very much like her; I can't deny it. But at the same time, he's so different. He's more mature than she ever was. He wants to live his life to the fullest and take every opportunity that knocks on his door. He's better than Becky.
Agh. I don't know. I just needed to get these thoughts written down.
In other news, Wood 'N Things did not hire me, my room is still coming along, and I helped with the art installation in Pittsburgh yesterday and today. Check out the waterfall!
This is on the climbing wall in the REI building in SouthSide Works. Yay for recycled water bottles and a little cellophane. It will be up for a week and then we are moving it to another rock wall in Pittsburgh 'cause the lady liked the idea and wanted it on her climbing wall also. She's giving out free climbing passes for you and a friend if you help, so I'm not complaining.Sleepy time!
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
*scrunched face*
So Isaac was the one who broke off the relationship. The bum. At least now he'll stop hurting Nobu. I'm really gonna miss her...
I just got off the phone with Becky and now I'm lonely again. :( This is really annoying. I know I don't need constant interaction, so why am I always lonely at night?
I'm still in the process of cleaning my room. I finally made it to the closet, so all the stuffs on the bed and my closet floor is clean--I'll be sleeping in there tonight. It won't be nearly as comfortable as Keer's closet and it will be a little more cramped, but I think I will be fine for the night. I'm still planning on painting my room. I'm thinking light cream for the walls and a dark brown for the trim and such. I'm also considering doing a mini mural on the wall next to the door. It'd be a tree with sakura. We'll see if that actually happens, though.
I applied for a job at Wood 'N Things today. They just need a part-timer in sales. I figure it's better than nothing. Bah. I feel so weird about getting a job. I don't know why.
I just dropped Min a line... I felt awkward about sending him an email, but, I don't know. Part of me still wants to be his friend, but the other part wants to put him in the past and just forget about him. Make him another Everis.
Ugh. I don't know. I'm so tired of feelings. I just want to not have to worry about them anymore. I don't want to have to constantly think about how is this going to effect, say, Mike. I just want to live and have fun. *sigh*
I just got off the phone with Becky and now I'm lonely again. :( This is really annoying. I know I don't need constant interaction, so why am I always lonely at night?
I'm still in the process of cleaning my room. I finally made it to the closet, so all the stuffs on the bed and my closet floor is clean--I'll be sleeping in there tonight. It won't be nearly as comfortable as Keer's closet and it will be a little more cramped, but I think I will be fine for the night. I'm still planning on painting my room. I'm thinking light cream for the walls and a dark brown for the trim and such. I'm also considering doing a mini mural on the wall next to the door. It'd be a tree with sakura. We'll see if that actually happens, though.
I applied for a job at Wood 'N Things today. They just need a part-timer in sales. I figure it's better than nothing. Bah. I feel so weird about getting a job. I don't know why.
I just dropped Min a line... I felt awkward about sending him an email, but, I don't know. Part of me still wants to be his friend, but the other part wants to put him in the past and just forget about him. Make him another Everis.
Ugh. I don't know. I'm so tired of feelings. I just want to not have to worry about them anymore. I don't want to have to constantly think about how is this going to effect, say, Mike. I just want to live and have fun. *sigh*
Monday, May 5, 2008
Might As Well
So on Friday Dad found out Keer was male and said "I wouldn't have approved if I had known." Well you would have known if you had been listening. X( So he didn't want me to sleep over, then Mom expressed her distaste for the situation, so I wound up leaving for the Coffee House in a huff after telling Mom I wouldn't sleep over. As soon as I pulled my car around to leave the driveway I was crying. I was really looking forward to a weekend with Keer.
The Coffee House cheered me up; seeing all of my high school friends does. I got through about 1/4 of the art before I came to a dead halt 'cause people realized I was there. I got attacked by hugs. ^_^ OMG There was a tumor with hair and teeth! *dies happy* But yes. Keer and I were still going to hang out, it just wouldn't be a his place and we wouldn't be watching movies. We wound up hanging out at Cranberry Park and then the Fun 4 All parking lot until about 3ish and neither of us went to be until around 5, so I might as well have slept over. Bah.
Saturday Keer came over and we played Mario Kart for the Wii and made peanut butter cookies before going to his house before KT's concert. The whole day was fun. I got to meet Keer's brother Eugene (who is awesome) and KT's concert/drama thing kicked butt. I'm totally going to the next one too. After the concert I gave KT some cookies and the hand sculpture I made her. I should have taken a picture of it... it was just a little white hand holding music notes. I liked it, and I think she liked it too. I didn't really get to talk to her, 'cause she just performed and I know how that goes: everyone wants to talk to you. I met a whole bunch of Keer's friends, like Lochas (Lockas?), Jerad, Chad, Kai, just a lot of people. We stood in a circle and played hackysack for a while before we got kicked out and moved to Kai's apartment. We didn't really do much there--Halo, Robin Williams live, legos... that was pretty much it. Keer drove me back to my car and we slept until 4 before coming home. Yet again, I might as well have slept over.
Friday I noticed my front left tire was really low. It turns out there was a break at the base of the air valve. -_- So now I have a doughnut on my car and Dad can't fix my tire himself. Which also means I'm stuck here until the tire's fixed. You're not supposed to drive over 45mph on a doughnut, apparently.
We had classical mass today (Sunday) which rocked. There was another cello player, Paige Labaugh. She's a freshman and not a very good cello player, but oh well.
I'm thinking about painting my room cream and brown/chocolate. We'll see if that happens. It probably will.
I'm also thinking about getting another job. I like my brainless manual labor at SEC, but it runs my life too much. I can't do anything the evening before 'cause I have to get up early for work. I'm gonna check at Wood N Things and see what kinda worker they're looking for.
The Coffee House cheered me up; seeing all of my high school friends does. I got through about 1/4 of the art before I came to a dead halt 'cause people realized I was there. I got attacked by hugs. ^_^ OMG There was a tumor with hair and teeth! *dies happy* But yes. Keer and I were still going to hang out, it just wouldn't be a his place and we wouldn't be watching movies. We wound up hanging out at Cranberry Park and then the Fun 4 All parking lot until about 3ish and neither of us went to be until around 5, so I might as well have slept over. Bah.
Saturday Keer came over and we played Mario Kart for the Wii and made peanut butter cookies before going to his house before KT's concert. The whole day was fun. I got to meet Keer's brother Eugene (who is awesome) and KT's concert/drama thing kicked butt. I'm totally going to the next one too. After the concert I gave KT some cookies and the hand sculpture I made her. I should have taken a picture of it... it was just a little white hand holding music notes. I liked it, and I think she liked it too. I didn't really get to talk to her, 'cause she just performed and I know how that goes: everyone wants to talk to you. I met a whole bunch of Keer's friends, like Lochas (Lockas?), Jerad, Chad, Kai, just a lot of people. We stood in a circle and played hackysack for a while before we got kicked out and moved to Kai's apartment. We didn't really do much there--Halo, Robin Williams live, legos... that was pretty much it. Keer drove me back to my car and we slept until 4 before coming home. Yet again, I might as well have slept over.
Friday I noticed my front left tire was really low. It turns out there was a break at the base of the air valve. -_- So now I have a doughnut on my car and Dad can't fix my tire himself. Which also means I'm stuck here until the tire's fixed. You're not supposed to drive over 45mph on a doughnut, apparently.
We had classical mass today (Sunday) which rocked. There was another cello player, Paige Labaugh. She's a freshman and not a very good cello player, but oh well.
I'm thinking about painting my room cream and brown/chocolate. We'll see if that happens. It probably will.
I'm also thinking about getting another job. I like my brainless manual labor at SEC, but it runs my life too much. I can't do anything the evening before 'cause I have to get up early for work. I'm gonna check at Wood N Things and see what kinda worker they're looking for.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Lonely
*cries* I'm lonely!! *pouts* I hate being lonely. Mom's right. I'll get married one day, just so I don't have to feel lonely anymore.
Looking forward to the Coffee House at Mars tomorrow and the Keer Movie Fest weekend right after. w00t.
I really want to make something for KT. I know, I haven't met her and I know next to nothing about her, but I really want to make her something. I don't know why; it's just a spontaneous thing. Maybe it's because we have something in common: Keer likes both of us. I know we have more in common: she's into music, she plays violin, piano, and writes her own stuff. She has an appreciation for small things. She likes video games, the outdoors, talking, and hanging out with friends. All of this info I got from Keer. She has a concert on Saturday that Keer and I might be going to, and I want to give her something when (if) I meet her. I'm thinking a little sculpture out of Crayola modeling clay... but I need to get the clay. I'll do that when I wake up so it has enough time to dry and such. I don't know what it will be yet... hopefully something she likes. *crosses fingers*
Room cleaning still in progress.
And OMG adorable picture of Eve. *coos*
Looking forward to the Coffee House at Mars tomorrow and the Keer Movie Fest weekend right after. w00t.
I really want to make something for KT. I know, I haven't met her and I know next to nothing about her, but I really want to make her something. I don't know why; it's just a spontaneous thing. Maybe it's because we have something in common: Keer likes both of us. I know we have more in common: she's into music, she plays violin, piano, and writes her own stuff. She has an appreciation for small things. She likes video games, the outdoors, talking, and hanging out with friends. All of this info I got from Keer. She has a concert on Saturday that Keer and I might be going to, and I want to give her something when (if) I meet her. I'm thinking a little sculpture out of Crayola modeling clay... but I need to get the clay. I'll do that when I wake up so it has enough time to dry and such. I don't know what it will be yet... hopefully something she likes. *crosses fingers*
Room cleaning still in progress.
And OMG adorable picture of Eve. *coos*
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Solutions
I've figured it out! I don't have feelings for Min, Matt, or Keer. Problem solved. Or so it feels, anyway. With that part out of the way, it's so much easier to look at everything else.
I saw Mike on Sunday for the first time in a long while. For the first bit of our reunion, everything was strange and awkward, but then we went geocaching and things got better quickly. He acted so much differently! Almost like a guy! It was strange, but he actually did things that reminded me of what Keer does, like randomly running his nails down my arm. I was like "Woah! He's never done stuff like this before!... Yay!" It was nice. I hope he continues being more himself.
I'm gonna do a movie madness weekend with Keer starting Friday night. Mike isn't too happy about it, but after I told him I don't have feelings for Keer, he's been more cooperative. It's one of those things where he doesn't want to tell me I can't, but he wants me to come to that conclusion. Heh. Not gonna happen. I enjoy my time with Keer. He's fun and I can be completely and utterly open with him. No false words. None at all. It's great. It is tiring, though. Keer has high expectations of his friends, so I'm constantly watching my actions and monitoring what specifics I give out about me. And there are topics where we clash, like with religion. He's one of those "prove it and I'll believe it" people, so I have to watch my religion talk. There's other stuff, but you get the point.
So yeah. I still don't know my feelings about Mike, but I do know about the other ones, so that's a start, at least. I think Mike and I will be okay. I do feel really pressured every time he says "I love you" because that's such a heavy thing for me. Practically the equivalent of saying I want to marry y0u. He tried to explain that for him it wasn't that heavy, but he didn't do a very good job of it. At first I seemed to understand that it was "I love you more than a friend, but not enough to consider marrying you," but he screwed it up and said "but it might be enough to get engaged." Ugh. I think all this stuff is happening/happened because of the pressure. I think I need some non-relationship time, but then again, I think I'm a bad girlfriend anyway, so I should just be single with a close guy friend. I think I'd be happiest in that relationship. But of course, Mike doesn't want that, so...
Mike asked, so I truthfully told him that yes, I snuggle with Keer and we sleep in the same bed when I sleep over there. Needless to say, he was not happy about it, and I can see why he wouldn't be happy, but he needs to learn to see things from my point of view. I don't attach gender to friendship, so if I can snuggle with Liv, why can't I snuggle with Keer? Isaac would say it's dangerous and would give Keer the wrong idea, but Keer and I have established all those things. He knows I only do it as a friend, and even though he likes me, he's not going to try to woo me or anything. He'll let me go to him if that's what I want.
I'm almost getting discouraged about talking with others about heavy stuff like this. Not because I feel awkward or like I'm burdening them, but because I've already considered all of the feedback they give me. Besides me saying everything out loud, I'm not really getting anything out of it. *shrug* I guess I've just figured out how to think from many different angles, so I almost know everything to be considered. Wow. Check out that ego. Ugh.
On a completely different note, I have WAY too much stuff. I was watching a home improvement show on HGTV and they said that we only use 20% of the things we own. It's so true. I don't know if they were counting decorations or anything, but I still have way too much stuff. And clothes, omg. I was content with the amount I had at college and now I come back and I have so many clothes! I went through them once already, but I'm gonna go through them again to weed out even more. As for my room, I'm slowly working my way around it, dusting, throwing stuff away, basically a hard-core cleaning. The garbage man comes tonight, so I need to get a move on and get at least most of it done. C>(-_-) (That's a puff sigh. Yay for new emoticons.)
I saw Mike on Sunday for the first time in a long while. For the first bit of our reunion, everything was strange and awkward, but then we went geocaching and things got better quickly. He acted so much differently! Almost like a guy! It was strange, but he actually did things that reminded me of what Keer does, like randomly running his nails down my arm. I was like "Woah! He's never done stuff like this before!... Yay!" It was nice. I hope he continues being more himself.
I'm gonna do a movie madness weekend with Keer starting Friday night. Mike isn't too happy about it, but after I told him I don't have feelings for Keer, he's been more cooperative. It's one of those things where he doesn't want to tell me I can't, but he wants me to come to that conclusion. Heh. Not gonna happen. I enjoy my time with Keer. He's fun and I can be completely and utterly open with him. No false words. None at all. It's great. It is tiring, though. Keer has high expectations of his friends, so I'm constantly watching my actions and monitoring what specifics I give out about me. And there are topics where we clash, like with religion. He's one of those "prove it and I'll believe it" people, so I have to watch my religion talk. There's other stuff, but you get the point.
So yeah. I still don't know my feelings about Mike, but I do know about the other ones, so that's a start, at least. I think Mike and I will be okay. I do feel really pressured every time he says "I love you" because that's such a heavy thing for me. Practically the equivalent of saying I want to marry y0u. He tried to explain that for him it wasn't that heavy, but he didn't do a very good job of it. At first I seemed to understand that it was "I love you more than a friend, but not enough to consider marrying you," but he screwed it up and said "but it might be enough to get engaged." Ugh. I think all this stuff is happening/happened because of the pressure. I think I need some non-relationship time, but then again, I think I'm a bad girlfriend anyway, so I should just be single with a close guy friend. I think I'd be happiest in that relationship. But of course, Mike doesn't want that, so...
Mike asked, so I truthfully told him that yes, I snuggle with Keer and we sleep in the same bed when I sleep over there. Needless to say, he was not happy about it, and I can see why he wouldn't be happy, but he needs to learn to see things from my point of view. I don't attach gender to friendship, so if I can snuggle with Liv, why can't I snuggle with Keer? Isaac would say it's dangerous and would give Keer the wrong idea, but Keer and I have established all those things. He knows I only do it as a friend, and even though he likes me, he's not going to try to woo me or anything. He'll let me go to him if that's what I want.
I'm almost getting discouraged about talking with others about heavy stuff like this. Not because I feel awkward or like I'm burdening them, but because I've already considered all of the feedback they give me. Besides me saying everything out loud, I'm not really getting anything out of it. *shrug* I guess I've just figured out how to think from many different angles, so I almost know everything to be considered. Wow. Check out that ego. Ugh.
On a completely different note, I have WAY too much stuff. I was watching a home improvement show on HGTV and they said that we only use 20% of the things we own. It's so true. I don't know if they were counting decorations or anything, but I still have way too much stuff. And clothes, omg. I was content with the amount I had at college and now I come back and I have so many clothes! I went through them once already, but I'm gonna go through them again to weed out even more. As for my room, I'm slowly working my way around it, dusting, throwing stuff away, basically a hard-core cleaning. The garbage man comes tonight, so I need to get a move on and get at least most of it done. C>(-_-) (That's a puff sigh. Yay for new emoticons.)
Friday, April 25, 2008
It's Raining Men
Oh man, I don't even know where to start with this one. -_- So it seems like ever since the Min thing and I started doubting my relationship with Mike, God has been throwing guys at me. It kinda feels like He's been the little brother who wants to play with his big sibling. Once the sibling agrees, He wants to play everything 'cause he finally got what he wanted. So my translation: He's been wanting me to give up on Mike and now that I'm doubting, He's been showing me all these options. Kinda like "Oh! Here's a guy! And here's another! Don't forget about this one!" o_O Min was obviously the first.
Second, not quite so surprising, was Matt Harrington. Somehow I'd forgotten the fact that Matt likes me. Or maybe it was because I never thought Matt actually liked me. He slept over Saturday night because he had some type of mini convention down by the airport and Sunday (April 20) was his birthday so his parents were taking him to Nakama. The night before he came, though, he kept on saying stuff about what his perfect girl is like and how he let her slip through his fingers. *sigh* It was a fun weekend overall. We went to Lulu's Noodles Saturday night, he fell asleep on the floor at about 10:30, I couldn't sleep because of my cough, so I actually wound up sleeping in the closet (o_O), Sunday we ventured around the Carnegie museums and in the basement where Matt worked over the summer, met up with his parents and went to dinner at Nakama (Mmm... Chicken Diablo...) and had a jolly ol' time.
Third is Keer. Yes, Keer. I started talking to him over AIM not too long ago and then got to see him at Tekko. He's been considering getting hormones, but is iffy about it right now. He's giving himself a year to research and consider and all that jazz. Anyway, we had fun for the short amount of time we got to see each other. In fact, I wound up spending Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights with him. In his comfy closet. Watching movies and having good conversations. It turns out that Keer likes me. Yeah. And he has lots of standards, man. She's got to cuddle, be intelligent, mature, good looking, ugh... there's more, but I can't remember them right now. He said it's hard to find someone who fits all the criteria. He's found me and this other girl KT who is a year younger than me. Actually, he isn't sure if I fit the "intelligent" category yet, but that's only because we haven't really done anything that would show him that I am intelligent, or, intelligent enough for him. *shrug*
So yes, it's frickin' raining men.
Second, not quite so surprising, was Matt Harrington. Somehow I'd forgotten the fact that Matt likes me. Or maybe it was because I never thought Matt actually liked me. He slept over Saturday night because he had some type of mini convention down by the airport and Sunday (April 20) was his birthday so his parents were taking him to Nakama. The night before he came, though, he kept on saying stuff about what his perfect girl is like and how he let her slip through his fingers. *sigh* It was a fun weekend overall. We went to Lulu's Noodles Saturday night, he fell asleep on the floor at about 10:30, I couldn't sleep because of my cough, so I actually wound up sleeping in the closet (o_O), Sunday we ventured around the Carnegie museums and in the basement where Matt worked over the summer, met up with his parents and went to dinner at Nakama (Mmm... Chicken Diablo...) and had a jolly ol' time.
Third is Keer. Yes, Keer. I started talking to him over AIM not too long ago and then got to see him at Tekko. He's been considering getting hormones, but is iffy about it right now. He's giving himself a year to research and consider and all that jazz. Anyway, we had fun for the short amount of time we got to see each other. In fact, I wound up spending Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights with him. In his comfy closet. Watching movies and having good conversations. It turns out that Keer likes me. Yeah. And he has lots of standards, man. She's got to cuddle, be intelligent, mature, good looking, ugh... there's more, but I can't remember them right now. He said it's hard to find someone who fits all the criteria. He's found me and this other girl KT who is a year younger than me. Actually, he isn't sure if I fit the "intelligent" category yet, but that's only because we haven't really done anything that would show him that I am intelligent, or, intelligent enough for him. *shrug*
So yes, it's frickin' raining men.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Sorry, WHAT?
So, I wound up spilling everything I was thinking to Mike last night even though I wanted to wait to make sure those were my real emotions. Or at least until we were face to face. Jerk. )X I still don't know whether I should break up with him or not.... I'm leaning toward yes. Of course he tells me this: "I haven't fully been myself for this relationship." Sorry, WHAT? So, if you don't mind me asking, who have I been dating for 10 months?! Ugh! wtf. >_> And at some point he was babbling on about how he thinks this has been a really good relationship, but I wouldn't know because I haven't dated anyone else. Excuse me? Is that permission to break up with you? 'Cause I'll take it. Bastard. How about, he said he was probably pretending to be depressed the first time we dated so I would pay attention to him. Just...! Just... AHASRHLAIDHV;UIARSDFJSN8WY[10YF
No pink eye, thank God. It's just part of the cold. -_-
More later, I'm sure.
No pink eye, thank God. It's just part of the cold. -_-
More later, I'm sure.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
*cries*
DAMN IT!! WTFUCKKK?!?!!?! THIS WEEK SUCKS!!! *cries*
I got a 54 on my Business Calc test, I'm really sick, and I think I have pink eye. ;_;
I got a 54 on my Business Calc test, I'm really sick, and I think I have pink eye. ;_;
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
:fork:
So now I'm really confused about my feelings. I was talking to Rika about it and I came to the conclusion Mike doesn't really make me happy. I'm content while I'm with him, but it's not the same thing. It still feels like he's a friend with benefits over a boyfriend. And it drives me crazy that he doesn't make me feel any better about myself. He doesn't make me feel worse, but that's not the kind of relationship I want. I want to feel good about myself and be able to make the other person feel good about their self, too. I don't know if I do that with Mike.
If I wasn't so sick, I'd bang my head of the wall.
I have e-mails going back and forth with Min now. We've only had two legit. ones, so we'll see where it goes. I'll save them for reference.
If I wasn't so sick, I'd bang my head of the wall.
I have e-mails going back and forth with Min now. We've only had two legit. ones, so we'll see where it goes. I'll save them for reference.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Tekko Drama
I have come to the conclusion I have low self esteem. How did I come to this? Tekko weekend spelled it out for me.
Sara drove me out Friday at about 3:30ish and it took us quite a while to get there despite it being only a 10 min. drive. Stupid traffic. Once I got there, the first thing I did was go visit Robert. ^_^ Oh how I've missed that man. Here is case 1 for my conclusion. Yes, Robert is charismatic, but he makes me feel really good about myself. He likes to take pictures of me (naughty and otherwise) and is actually really sweet, despite him being a lech. He laughs and counters my witty remarks and we can flirt and taunt each other without actually meaning any of it. It's all in good fun.
Case 2: Min Win. I met Min Friday night after seeing Robert while I was looking for people I knew. Min is one of the sword dealers along with his big, black, awesome friend Xavier. Min was really nice and talked with me for a minute or two every time I walked by. Min is a Vietnamese photographer from southern California.
So he was cute, Asian, really nice, and it seemed like he wanted to be my friend. Who could resist? Not me, obviously. So I kept on seeing him and talking to him every time I passed by. Saturday he asked if I wanted to hang out when he got off at 7. Of course I did. I was excited because I had made a new friend. I could tell he was flirting with me a little, but it didn't bother me because it reminded me of how Robert and I flirt. He was calling a lot a girls "babe." Harmless, meaningless. I didn't actually go through this thought process. If I had, I would have kicked myself for being dumb. Obviously he was flirting for real. Why didn't I get this?! Ugh!
Anyway. I was hanging out with Liv, Alex Caruso, and Jake Seamon at the time he actually got off, which was 7:30ish because he had to help clean up and stuffs. I forget how we made it to Artist's Alley and why, but it all worked out 'cause he didn't have the chance to look around earlier. He bought a few jewelry piece and two 2' long foam pieces of Pocky. One chocolate, one strawberry. He gave me the strawberry one. Of course I resisted, but he wouldn't take it, so now I have an uber awesome Pocky plushy. ^_^
Moving on, all of us went to the little pizza palor the hotel had (Min invited them to come even though I think he didn't really want to. maybe it was a plot to impress me. it worked.) and Min paid for mine and Liv's food. Jerk. ^_^ Of course, I slipped some money into his pants pocket, so really I paid for mine at least. I found it attractive that he also paid for Liv's food because in the short time he had seen us together, he knew how close we were. It's like that Spice Girls song: "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends." or at least try to be friends. While we were in line, he did what Robert does, to some extent. He countered my wit. Not all the time. Sometimes he just laughed, which made me feel good anyway.
Mike doesn't do that type of stuff. He rarely laughs at my wit, which makes me think I'm not witty until I do it around other people. It's almost like a way of putting me down, even though I know he doesn't mean it or even do it on purpose. And Min was more outgoing that Mike is. I'm an extrovert, I need other extroverts. Being around intros for a long time drives me crazy! And unfortunately, Mike is a very intro intro.
Actually this topic came up briefly at dinner. Liv did a mini rant on passive people and I said "like my boyfriend." Apparently Min didn't catch this. Too bad, I said it on purpose, too. That caused some problems.
Liv and I went to the Asian boy bands panel when we finished and Sarah and Jesyrae got out of line just in time to take our seats. Sad face. I haven't seen Sarah in a while. Anyway, I didn't really want to go to the panel, I wanted to spend time with Min, but Liv had been having a lot of drama (drunk guys hitting on her) and she needed my company. Min and I made a date to dance at the rave and we left.
Panel was boring, I went to chance into my rave outfit. The line for the rave was HUGE. It went from the ballroom all the way back to Artist's Ally, which was at the complete opposite end of the hotel. Luckily, I spotted Elyssa and Ray in line across from the bar, so I snuck in with them. Sarah and Jessy eventually joined us. There was a max limit of people for the rave, but they nixed that after a while. It was so hot and sweaty in there. So much fun. Unfortunately, Min got stuck working AGAIN. He was selling fake rose buds, shinies, and glowsticks at a table in the back. He gave free roses to me and Liv. ^_^ There was drama involving Liv and Lief, but overall everything was fun. Min even asked me if I wanted to hang out after the dance. ^_^
It was nearing 2am and Min finally got off for a few minutes to dance with me. All I have to say is damn. He's an awesome dancer. I was having a lot of fun until he kissed the back of my neck. Then I reiterated and said "You do know I have a boyfriend..." He heard me this time and immediately backed off. More like stopped dance and backed off a yard. I was immediately sad because it was then I made the connection between how he was acting and what he meant. I told him that didn't mean I wanted him to stop dancing with me. He continued, but he was a lot more hesitant and danced with Liv more than me. Pretty soon Min had to start cleaning up and he left without a word.
With the connection of action and thought finally making sense in my brain, I figured he didn't want to hang out with me after the rave anymore. I asked just to make sure. He needed to think about it. ;_; Time for questions: did this mean he had planned on making out with me? If I wasn't dating Mike, would I? If none of that stuff with Mike had happened, would I? I'm leaning toward yes on all of those.
The rave would be ending soon, so I went to get my things. On the way back, Min was pushing his cart of merch. down the hall. I gave him a weak smile and he pulled over. After a couple stumbled sentences he asked me "What do you want?" Oh that horrid question. There are so many possible meanings to it. So many. Of course the one that stood out was "What do you want from me?" which must be the worst of all readings of that phrase. I was so shocked I asked "What do you mean?" He said to forget it and gave me an excuse as to why he couldn't hang out. Obviously it was because I'm taken.
I felt wretched. Absolutely putrid. I talked with Jake about my naivety on the way back to the suite and he analyzed some of the things I did that would have given Min the wrong impression. I suck. Why can't I control my signals? Heck, I don't even know which signals are doing it! I wish I did know so I could control them. I still felt like shit for leading him on. I really like him. So, I decided to write him an apology, which I did the next morning. I would have just said it, but they tend to have a lot of customers, so I figured written was better. He could read it when he had the time.
In the mean time, I avoided the dealer's room and went to Artists Alley for a hopeful pick-me-up from Robert. He can always make me smile, even if it is evilly. Unfortunately, Robert felt I was looming after a few minutes... he gave me to really weird look when I asked him how he first got into art. Maybe I'll ask what that look meant... Anyway, I took it as my cue to leave, so I decided I had given Min enough time to read and headed toward the Dealer's Room.
The first thing he said was "I'm not good with letters. If you have something you want to say, then just tell me." Thanks for the confidence boost. -_- I basically reiterated what was in the letter, pretty much. I'm sorry, I didn't even realize I was leading you on, I'm naive like that, you're an amazing guy, if I wasn't dating, etc. I think he pretty much forgave me, but I still felt absolutely horrible about it. It was about time for me to get my things and meet up with Jon and Gen to go back to Pitt, so I visited Robert one last time to get my things. I'd given him a mini "I'm feeling bad" rant earlier, so he gave me a big hug before I left.
Ever since I left Min, I'd been on the edge of tears. I just felt so bad about what happened. That's what I really care about. I don't allow myself to hurt people unless it's with honesty, and even then I don't like to do it. If they're hurt, I feel like I've failed my life's goal to make the people around me happy. Which I have.
I met up with Jon and Gen, but they said the shuttle wouldn't be there until 2. They decided to walk around the Dealer's Room. I followed, but I hid from Min because I felt so bad and I didn't want to wind up saying anything wrong, or even giving him a bad look; whether that's a smile or a blank look, I don't know. Thankfully, Min's table is at the very beginning of the room, so once I passed him the first time, I was good.
We left and lounged in the bar area to wait and noticed a shuttle outside. We went out and asked if he was going to the airport; he was, so he took us and canceled out 2pm ride. Waiting around in a mini skirt when it was in the low 40s or less is not fun.
I tend to be detail oriented in some aspects of life and not in others. I am when it comes to smells. When Min and I were dancing, I couldn't help but notice. I couldn't place it at the time, but once I got off the bus and was walking back to the dorm, I knew what it was: city. He smelled like the city. Of course this didn't help since smell is the sense most closely time to memory.
So yeah. Dropped my stuff on the floor, cried for bit, finally fell asleep, got up, took a shower, went to church, came back, cried some more, and cleaned up the room. Now not only do I have a cold and runny nose, I also have a headache from crying, which has yet to go away. I'm completely exhausted from the drama and from the lack of good sleep (thank you freezing rooms, cold, hard floors, and a thin blanket).
I'd go to bed, but I'm sending this entry to Mike and he'll want to talk about it. He's mad I pose for Robert. How dumb. I mean, I'm not doing any harm, and to fit with the journal theme, it boosts my low self esteem levels. Ugh. Anyway, I'm done here.
Sara drove me out Friday at about 3:30ish and it took us quite a while to get there despite it being only a 10 min. drive. Stupid traffic. Once I got there, the first thing I did was go visit Robert. ^_^ Oh how I've missed that man. Here is case 1 for my conclusion. Yes, Robert is charismatic, but he makes me feel really good about myself. He likes to take pictures of me (naughty and otherwise) and is actually really sweet, despite him being a lech. He laughs and counters my witty remarks and we can flirt and taunt each other without actually meaning any of it. It's all in good fun.
Case 2: Min Win. I met Min Friday night after seeing Robert while I was looking for people I knew. Min is one of the sword dealers along with his big, black, awesome friend Xavier. Min was really nice and talked with me for a minute or two every time I walked by. Min is a Vietnamese photographer from southern California.
So he was cute, Asian, really nice, and it seemed like he wanted to be my friend. Who could resist? Not me, obviously. So I kept on seeing him and talking to him every time I passed by. Saturday he asked if I wanted to hang out when he got off at 7. Of course I did. I was excited because I had made a new friend. I could tell he was flirting with me a little, but it didn't bother me because it reminded me of how Robert and I flirt. He was calling a lot a girls "babe." Harmless, meaningless. I didn't actually go through this thought process. If I had, I would have kicked myself for being dumb. Obviously he was flirting for real. Why didn't I get this?! Ugh!Anyway. I was hanging out with Liv, Alex Caruso, and Jake Seamon at the time he actually got off, which was 7:30ish because he had to help clean up and stuffs. I forget how we made it to Artist's Alley and why, but it all worked out 'cause he didn't have the chance to look around earlier. He bought a few jewelry piece and two 2' long foam pieces of Pocky. One chocolate, one strawberry. He gave me the strawberry one. Of course I resisted, but he wouldn't take it, so now I have an uber awesome Pocky plushy. ^_^
Moving on, all of us went to the little pizza palor the hotel had (Min invited them to come even though I think he didn't really want to. maybe it was a plot to impress me. it worked.) and Min paid for mine and Liv's food. Jerk. ^_^ Of course, I slipped some money into his pants pocket, so really I paid for mine at least. I found it attractive that he also paid for Liv's food because in the short time he had seen us together, he knew how close we were. It's like that Spice Girls song: "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends." or at least try to be friends. While we were in line, he did what Robert does, to some extent. He countered my wit. Not all the time. Sometimes he just laughed, which made me feel good anyway.
Mike doesn't do that type of stuff. He rarely laughs at my wit, which makes me think I'm not witty until I do it around other people. It's almost like a way of putting me down, even though I know he doesn't mean it or even do it on purpose. And Min was more outgoing that Mike is. I'm an extrovert, I need other extroverts. Being around intros for a long time drives me crazy! And unfortunately, Mike is a very intro intro.
Actually this topic came up briefly at dinner. Liv did a mini rant on passive people and I said "like my boyfriend." Apparently Min didn't catch this. Too bad, I said it on purpose, too. That caused some problems.
Liv and I went to the Asian boy bands panel when we finished and Sarah and Jesyrae got out of line just in time to take our seats. Sad face. I haven't seen Sarah in a while. Anyway, I didn't really want to go to the panel, I wanted to spend time with Min, but Liv had been having a lot of drama (drunk guys hitting on her) and she needed my company. Min and I made a date to dance at the rave and we left.
Panel was boring, I went to chance into my rave outfit. The line for the rave was HUGE. It went from the ballroom all the way back to Artist's Ally, which was at the complete opposite end of the hotel. Luckily, I spotted Elyssa and Ray in line across from the bar, so I snuck in with them. Sarah and Jessy eventually joined us. There was a max limit of people for the rave, but they nixed that after a while. It was so hot and sweaty in there. So much fun. Unfortunately, Min got stuck working AGAIN. He was selling fake rose buds, shinies, and glowsticks at a table in the back. He gave free roses to me and Liv. ^_^ There was drama involving Liv and Lief, but overall everything was fun. Min even asked me if I wanted to hang out after the dance. ^_^
It was nearing 2am and Min finally got off for a few minutes to dance with me. All I have to say is damn. He's an awesome dancer. I was having a lot of fun until he kissed the back of my neck. Then I reiterated and said "You do know I have a boyfriend..." He heard me this time and immediately backed off. More like stopped dance and backed off a yard. I was immediately sad because it was then I made the connection between how he was acting and what he meant. I told him that didn't mean I wanted him to stop dancing with me. He continued, but he was a lot more hesitant and danced with Liv more than me. Pretty soon Min had to start cleaning up and he left without a word.
With the connection of action and thought finally making sense in my brain, I figured he didn't want to hang out with me after the rave anymore. I asked just to make sure. He needed to think about it. ;_; Time for questions: did this mean he had planned on making out with me? If I wasn't dating Mike, would I? If none of that stuff with Mike had happened, would I? I'm leaning toward yes on all of those.
The rave would be ending soon, so I went to get my things. On the way back, Min was pushing his cart of merch. down the hall. I gave him a weak smile and he pulled over. After a couple stumbled sentences he asked me "What do you want?" Oh that horrid question. There are so many possible meanings to it. So many. Of course the one that stood out was "What do you want from me?" which must be the worst of all readings of that phrase. I was so shocked I asked "What do you mean?" He said to forget it and gave me an excuse as to why he couldn't hang out. Obviously it was because I'm taken.
I felt wretched. Absolutely putrid. I talked with Jake about my naivety on the way back to the suite and he analyzed some of the things I did that would have given Min the wrong impression. I suck. Why can't I control my signals? Heck, I don't even know which signals are doing it! I wish I did know so I could control them. I still felt like shit for leading him on. I really like him. So, I decided to write him an apology, which I did the next morning. I would have just said it, but they tend to have a lot of customers, so I figured written was better. He could read it when he had the time.
In the mean time, I avoided the dealer's room and went to Artists Alley for a hopeful pick-me-up from Robert. He can always make me smile, even if it is evilly. Unfortunately, Robert felt I was looming after a few minutes... he gave me to really weird look when I asked him how he first got into art. Maybe I'll ask what that look meant... Anyway, I took it as my cue to leave, so I decided I had given Min enough time to read and headed toward the Dealer's Room.
The first thing he said was "I'm not good with letters. If you have something you want to say, then just tell me." Thanks for the confidence boost. -_- I basically reiterated what was in the letter, pretty much. I'm sorry, I didn't even realize I was leading you on, I'm naive like that, you're an amazing guy, if I wasn't dating, etc. I think he pretty much forgave me, but I still felt absolutely horrible about it. It was about time for me to get my things and meet up with Jon and Gen to go back to Pitt, so I visited Robert one last time to get my things. I'd given him a mini "I'm feeling bad" rant earlier, so he gave me a big hug before I left.
Ever since I left Min, I'd been on the edge of tears. I just felt so bad about what happened. That's what I really care about. I don't allow myself to hurt people unless it's with honesty, and even then I don't like to do it. If they're hurt, I feel like I've failed my life's goal to make the people around me happy. Which I have.
I met up with Jon and Gen, but they said the shuttle wouldn't be there until 2. They decided to walk around the Dealer's Room. I followed, but I hid from Min because I felt so bad and I didn't want to wind up saying anything wrong, or even giving him a bad look; whether that's a smile or a blank look, I don't know. Thankfully, Min's table is at the very beginning of the room, so once I passed him the first time, I was good.
We left and lounged in the bar area to wait and noticed a shuttle outside. We went out and asked if he was going to the airport; he was, so he took us and canceled out 2pm ride. Waiting around in a mini skirt when it was in the low 40s or less is not fun.
I tend to be detail oriented in some aspects of life and not in others. I am when it comes to smells. When Min and I were dancing, I couldn't help but notice. I couldn't place it at the time, but once I got off the bus and was walking back to the dorm, I knew what it was: city. He smelled like the city. Of course this didn't help since smell is the sense most closely time to memory.
So yeah. Dropped my stuff on the floor, cried for bit, finally fell asleep, got up, took a shower, went to church, came back, cried some more, and cleaned up the room. Now not only do I have a cold and runny nose, I also have a headache from crying, which has yet to go away. I'm completely exhausted from the drama and from the lack of good sleep (thank you freezing rooms, cold, hard floors, and a thin blanket).
I'd go to bed, but I'm sending this entry to Mike and he'll want to talk about it. He's mad I pose for Robert. How dumb. I mean, I'm not doing any harm, and to fit with the journal theme, it boosts my low self esteem levels. Ugh. Anyway, I'm done here.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Lying Cheater with Herpes
Geez, this is SO weird... I found Isaac's online journal and it just happens to be a blogspot journal. What a coincidence. I stumbled upon it when I went to check my email and stuffs. He had the journal update page up with some "material" typed. He only has four or five entries, but I decided to be the snoop little sister and read it. It's online, so it's up there for the whole web to see. If he didn't want anyone (me) to find it, he should have just written a normal journal. Even if I found that, I wouldn't have read it 'cause I would have known he didn't want anyone to see it.
I guess that means I secretly want someone I know to find this journal... Yeah. I do. But I'm not going to tell anyone.
Back to Isaac, it turns out he's a PUA--a pick up artist. I kinda went SDLFKV MNOQ8UR WHAT?! He's using his talents for evil!! Evil!! *sigh* Poor Nobu. I can't tell for sure, but I think he's cheated on her (sex?)... and one of the entries said "I have not been sooo unfaithful." But then he was like "Why cant she accept that i want to better myself!" And I went "YOU FRICKIN' CHEATED ON HER, JERKOFF!!" DX I mean, really! Is he that dumb that he wouldn't understand why she would be upset?! From how it sounds, she doesn't know about it, but can guess.
Ugh. I mean, I feel jealous when Mike spends a lot a time with Amy 'cause it always sounds like he has more fun with her than he does with me. But to have him cheat on me? I'd feel like shit! Like I wasn't even close to good enough for him. Like I was just someone to fill his time when Amy wasn't available.
Come on, Isaac! Get with the program! Girls are more in-tune with their feelings than guys are. That means something that would hurt you, hurts us twice as much! We don't just think on it; we dwell on it. It's like a broken record that just keeps on going.
Ugh. Just... ugh. He likes the PUA lifestyle because he gets validation out of it. You can get validation out of ANYTHING! Not just picking up chicks. You can use your powers of manipulation for good, too! Do the same thing to make friends instead of get chicks. You have a girlfriend whom you want to marry. You should not be doing ANYTHING with ANY girl other than Nobu.
You're a liar, a cheater, and I wouldn't be surprised if you have herpes. Thank you Dane. Goodnight.
I guess that means I secretly want someone I know to find this journal... Yeah. I do. But I'm not going to tell anyone.
Back to Isaac, it turns out he's a PUA--a pick up artist. I kinda went SDLFKV MNOQ8UR WHAT?! He's using his talents for evil!! Evil!! *sigh* Poor Nobu. I can't tell for sure, but I think he's cheated on her (sex?)... and one of the entries said "I have not been sooo unfaithful." But then he was like "Why cant she accept that i want to better myself!" And I went "YOU FRICKIN' CHEATED ON HER, JERKOFF!!" DX I mean, really! Is he that dumb that he wouldn't understand why she would be upset?! From how it sounds, she doesn't know about it, but can guess.
Ugh. I mean, I feel jealous when Mike spends a lot a time with Amy 'cause it always sounds like he has more fun with her than he does with me. But to have him cheat on me? I'd feel like shit! Like I wasn't even close to good enough for him. Like I was just someone to fill his time when Amy wasn't available.
Come on, Isaac! Get with the program! Girls are more in-tune with their feelings than guys are. That means something that would hurt you, hurts us twice as much! We don't just think on it; we dwell on it. It's like a broken record that just keeps on going.
Ugh. Just... ugh. He likes the PUA lifestyle because he gets validation out of it. You can get validation out of ANYTHING! Not just picking up chicks. You can use your powers of manipulation for good, too! Do the same thing to make friends instead of get chicks. You have a girlfriend whom you want to marry. You should not be doing ANYTHING with ANY girl other than Nobu.
You're a liar, a cheater, and I wouldn't be surprised if you have herpes. Thank you Dane. Goodnight.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Michael Isaac
Michael Isaac was the boy from my dream last night. At some point he was kidnapped on a hijacked train that me and, I think, my family chased down (literally on foot). We chased the train through this amazingly open, hilly, green place until it fled into this valley where Michael was from. I swear, it was straight out of a Miyazaki. Everyone else took care of the hijackers while I returned Michael to his home. Somehow, I didn't get a look at him. I stood in the dining room outside his bedroom door with my ear pressed to his door and my eyes closed. He was playing the cello. God, it was beautiful. His grandmother was sitting at the table next to me and knew, with that conspiring smile grandmas get, that I had a HUGE crush on him. She told his mother to set another place at the table for me. ^_^ Finally he came out of his room for dinner. He was tall, maybe about the same as Matthew, with strawberry blonde, brownish, curly hair. He was so cute! The rest of the dream is blurry and really messed up. That part of the dream ended and at some point I had sex with Mike. I don't know.
I talked to Becky today. It was mostly about her story; it seems like everything has changed. I really needed an elvin fix, though. I'm gonna call her tomorrow and we can talk about real life stuff. I've really missed her. I will really miss her.
I talked to Becky today. It was mostly about her story; it seems like everything has changed. I really needed an elvin fix, though. I'm gonna call her tomorrow and we can talk about real life stuff. I've really missed her. I will really miss her.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Drowning in Tears
I just went through all the scans I have of Becky's old art and the voice recorder notes. I couldn't stop shaking and crying. It reminded me of Liv. One day, she asked me if the pain ever goes away. I told her the truth: it never goes away. Never.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
I don't even know.
I'm so emo right now. Yeah, it's because of Becky. Engaged and moving to Maryland in a few days. I hate how this affects me so much. What if she wants me to be part of the wedding? What if she doesn't? She told me she was going to send me something in the mail. I can only assume it's a wedding invitation. Man. There's no way I'll be able to get through it without breaking down.
I wish it was warm outside. I would really like to go for a walk.
I wish it was warm outside. I would really like to go for a walk.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Nobu-oneesan
OMG!! *flails excitedly* I just got off the phone with Isaac and he said the most amazing thing while we were talking about Nobu. He said the ways things are going, he could MARRY Nobu!!
a;oweijajvp978a4wbrkiq ywbfv n2;oi8 qvjUWED NQWU5/!!!!!!!!
He said he doesn't want to get married until he's approx. 26, which is fine. That leaves plenty of time for them to break up if something goes wrong, but STILL. I want Nobu to be my sister! *happy tears*
a;oweijajvp978a4wbrkiq ywbfv n2;oi8 qvjUWED NQWU5/!!!!!!!!
He said he doesn't want to get married until he's approx. 26, which is fine. That leaves plenty of time for them to break up if something goes wrong, but STILL. I want Nobu to be my sister! *happy tears*
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
Guilty Poverty: Giving to Charity
I just wrote this, what feels like, massive essay for English Comp. It was responding to Peter Singer's essay "The Singer Solution to World Poverty." It was one of those times you didn't know you thought that way until it came out on the page. Humans are so... despicable. We have to be guilt-tripped into being good people. It's horrible to think about, but it's true. Here's the essay as it is. There will probably be major revision once Prof. Erica gets back to me. I sent it to her so she could read it and tell me what to do with it. Yeah, to sum up what Singer was saying in his essay, he tried to guilt-trip the reader into giving money to his two charities. His first example was of Dora, who escorted a boy pretty much to his death unknowingly for money to buy a TV. The second dealt with Bob who spent his life and savings spiffing up this old classic and left it on a second pair of train tracks to take a stroll. A train is coming and a boy (dumb ass boy) walking on the tracks doesn't notice. Bob has two options: flip the switch, saving the boy and destroying his car, or not flipping the switch, killing the boy, but saving his car. He chooses the second. Yeah, there's pretty much all you need to understand the essay. I like it how it is for the most part, so I'll post it now. This is the first typed draft.
~*~
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From the time we were little, we knew there were starving people around the world. Our mothers made sure we knew it every time we refused to ear our vegetables. “Eat your food. Don’t you know there are starving children in _______? Fill in the blank. At some point in our young lives, we connected starvation to suffering to diseases and therefore knew, even if we did not really say it, many people (or children at least) were dying from diseases. If for some reason we did not make this connection, the numerous TV commercials asking for donations sufficed by knocking us upside the head and cluing us in. Peter Singer in his essay “The Singer Solution to World Poverty” decides to take a different route to get us to contribute to charities: guilt.
Guilt is a wonderful way to get people to do things for you. I admit I have used it myself, though I felt more than putrid afterwards. But from his first example, Singer uses this tactic to get us to donate to UNICEF or Oxfam
There is a new television show coming out called “Nothing but the Truth” that poses difficult questions to the contestants for money. The difference between this show and “Who wants to be a Millionaire” is the contestants on “Nothing but the Truth” are strapped to a lie detector and the questions are about their moral values. One of the questions asked on the commercial was “Do you really care about the starving children in
Singer emphasizes material possessions in his next example from Peter Unger’s book Let High and Letting Die. This is quite obviously a very similar situation to which Dora was in. Only now the material possession, Bob’s car, is in physical danger along with the boy. Bob must choose which will survive. But the reader must ask when looking at this situation “Who the hell would park their valuable I-poured-my-life-into-this car on train tracks?” It would seem Bob almost deserves this decision because of his idiocy. However, Singer mocks us for caring about the things we are proud of by stating
If you still think that it was very wrong of Bob not to throw the switch that would have diverted the train and saved the child’s life, then it is hard to see how you could deny that it is also very wrong not to send money to one of the organizations listed above. Unless, that is, there is some morally important difference between the two situations that I have overlooked.
Yet I can almost guarantee he is proud of his essay. How much money did he make for writing it? How much of it did he give to charities? Singer, a graduate of
All sane humans want to see themselves as a decent people. The truth is no one is perfect, so this is as much as we can hope for. This is the main reason why we try to ignore the fact people are dying from preventable and curable diseases. It is not that we do not care—I think we all do to some extent,—it is just that we do not want anyone to prove us wrong and pop the bubble of what little pride we have in ourselves. In a world full of violence, we strive for the most perfect and happy life we can get. When confronted with things we should be doing to help others achieve that kind of life, we turn away. But would not it make sense that if we were to make someone else happy, we, in turn, would be happy because or their happiness and the fact that we bettered ourselves in the process? Despite my surprising defense of the evil of humanity, this is what I believe. Unfortunately, most people do not see it that way, or just do not think about it. How do you truly “better” yourself? Some people think you can better yourself by exercising or spending thousands of dollars to get a “better” education at a four year college. Singer would argue a “better” route would be to give that time and those thousands to charities and go to a less expensive community college or not go to college at all, despite going to one of the most expensive colleges in the
On another note; how trusting can you be of charities? How much of your money actually goes to the cause? Obviously, there are respectable charities such as the ones Singer listed, but many who do give money, give to a variety of charities: some not so respectable. The news warns us to be careful who we give our money to. We practice the same caution giving our money to charities as we do to the homeless on the streets. “Are they actually going to use my money for food and shelter or are they just going to buy alcohol and drugs?” “Is my money actually getting to those kids or are the charity workers taking it all for themselves?” It is a tricky process to find out if charities are respectable or not. You have to research to find out. That takes time. Humans, I am sorry to say, are lazy. Researching may be incredibly easy with the use of the ever-helpful internet, but it still takes time: time we do not want to waste on researching (even though it will be wasted on something else anyway). In the end we just do not bother to do it. In our minds: “No time wasted, no one stealing my donated money.” It is an easy concept.
So have we been reduced to giving only when someone guilt-trips us into it? Sadly, that answer is a resounding “yes.” Guilt seems to be one of the only ways to procure a satisfying response to these certain situations. So few people give their hearts along with their money anymore. As I applaud the people who do, I also understand the horrible concept of human laziness and the evils that let us turn our eyes and lives from those who really need our help. So as much as I despise the guilt tactic used by Peter Singer in his essay “The Singer Solution to World Poverty,” I concede to its necessity.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Paint Balls and Ice Cream
Lots has happened in the last couple of days. Thursday I went to Cru (Campus Crusades for Christ). It's pretty much just mission trip program. It was alright. I'll probably go back; everyone was really nice. Afterwards, Sara and I stayed up talking about religion and stuff until after midnight. It was fun.
Friday I sat around after class and did homework. Then most of Cru and I went to a gymnastics competition, which one of the Cru girls was in. Damn those girls can flip. 3/4 of the way through, we left and went to watch a movie at South Side. Everyone went to see Juno except Sara and I. We saw The Bucket List. It was funny and serious. Not bad. The ride home was interesting because the campus bus was full of drunks. o_O
Saturday I went to see The Lion King with Brittany and her parents at the Benedum and we went to The Olive Garden afterward. The Lion King was interesting. Better than I thought it was going to be. I expected something different from the Disney movie, but it was the Disney movie, just with a couple of added songs etc. When I got back to the dorm, I got to meet Sara's friend Amber and we decided to go get some Coldstone ice cream. While we were waiting at the bus stop, someone hit Amber with a paint ball launched out of a slingshot in a moving van. It hit her upper right thigh and there is probably a welt there today. Some people are such jerks. The rest of the evening went well and the ice cream was very good.
And today has been church so far and that's it.
Friday I sat around after class and did homework. Then most of Cru and I went to a gymnastics competition, which one of the Cru girls was in. Damn those girls can flip. 3/4 of the way through, we left and went to watch a movie at South Side. Everyone went to see Juno except Sara and I. We saw The Bucket List. It was funny and serious. Not bad. The ride home was interesting because the campus bus was full of drunks. o_O
Saturday I went to see The Lion King with Brittany and her parents at the Benedum and we went to The Olive Garden afterward. The Lion King was interesting. Better than I thought it was going to be. I expected something different from the Disney movie, but it was the Disney movie, just with a couple of added songs etc. When I got back to the dorm, I got to meet Sara's friend Amber and we decided to go get some Coldstone ice cream. While we were waiting at the bus stop, someone hit Amber with a paint ball launched out of a slingshot in a moving van. It hit her upper right thigh and there is probably a welt there today. Some people are such jerks. The rest of the evening went well and the ice cream was very good.
And today has been church so far and that's it.
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